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You are here: Home / Archives for Family

Family

Helping Children Through Grief: Twelve Simple Ways

Alissa Ellett 1 Comment

Helping children through grief can feel daunting. But there are simple ways you can help. Your role as a parent or significant adult in a child’s life can offer them the stable footing they need to walk through their grief and develop resilience. We’ve put together a list of twelve easy ways to do just that. So that we can all learn from the collective wisdom of this community, please share ways you’ve been helping children through grief in the comments below!

helping children through grief

Download Shareable PDF: We’ve compiled our list of twelve ways of helping children through grief into a 1-page PDF that you can easily print out and share with your volunteers, Sunday School teachers, staff or teachers. Click here to download the PDF.

12 Ways of Helping Children Through Grief

  1. Be concrete and simple with your language. You may be tempted to make heavy content feel less so. However, avoid euphemisms when speaking of loss, particularly death. Children think in literal terms and can become confused if your language isn’t clear.
  2. Maintain routine. It’s important for children to feel a sense of stability when an area of their life has shifted as a result of a loss. Whether in the home or classroom, consistent routine contributes to feelings of safety and soothes anxiety.
  3. Allow for all emotions to be expressed. All of us experience grief differently. A mixture of anger, sadness, numbness, fear, denial, confusion, and fatigue is normal. When helping children through grief, establish an environment where all emotions are welcome.
  4. Listen and respond with empathy. A child’s willingness to share their grief with you is a treasure. Listen carefully to them. Help them know you understand by reflecting back to them what they’re feeling. Additionally, if you feel what they feel, tell them so.
  5. Put felt emotions into words. Children can feel things for which they don’t have words. And their bodies will hold their unexpressed feelings. This can create struggle down the road in relationships, schoolwork, home life, and overall health. Help them by putting words to the emotions they experience but can’t express.
  6. Encourage story-sharing. Ask children if they’d like to share favorite memories. Sharing stories is particularly useful in the death of a loved one. Share stories of the person or pet they’ve lost and what their favorite qualities were.
  7. Offer ways of memorializing. Invite them to bring pictures and encourage them to create art, write and play in ways that are helpful. Coloring is a great way for children to process. So, hit up the ICM store for some great options. Furthermore, children need to see photos of their families after divorce and loved ones after they’ve died. You may even try mounting a board for photos and artwork to be displayed.
  8. Be patient. Children are repetitive and cyclical in their grief. They may ask the same questions over and over. They are looking for your confirmation that the story hasn’t changed. Additionally, these repeated conversations are excellent opportunities to help children utilize various ways of coping.
  9. Avoid giving a false sense of hope. Be honest with kids even when it’s hard to do so. It’s important for children to feel loss for them to move through it and develop strength and resilience. Also, if death is a part of their loss, share with them that because of the mystery of Heaven, we know death here on Earth isn’t the end.
  10. Answer questions clearly. We all encounter questions when moving through loss. This is often true for children, too. Respond to questions directly and simply. Additionally, if you aren’t able to give an answer, be honest.
  11. Give affection and security. At times, children don’t need to talk or do anything. But, they may still need you. If a child is in need of a hug or handhold, offer your presence to them. There are times when simply letting a child know you’re there is what they need most.
  12. Explain rituals. In the case of a death there may be rituals, e.g., a funeral, that will stir questions. Describe what children can expect when they experience these new situations and why they are significant.

helping children through grief

Helping Children Through Grief Alongside Parents

Parents and guardians are the primary support helping children through grief. However, they can be unaware of how grief may be affecting their child. Significant adults in children’s lives can help children by supporting their parents. Below are signs of a child struggling deeply or getting stuck in processing the loss they have suffered. If this happens, staying connected with parents is imperative.

Alert parents, especially if a child…

  • asks for repeated help with things they used to do for themselves routinely.
  • cries a lot.
  • shows a dramatic shift in behavior, e.g., becomes isolated, disinterested, aggressive.
  • seems anxious, nervous, excessively worried.
  • begins struggling with irrational fears.
  • loses interest in play.
  • shows sexual behavior inappropriate for their age.
  • can’t concentrate.
  • seems to show a drop in self-esteem and self-confidence.

helping children through grief

Light for Children in a Dark Time

Walking with a child through a time of grief opens a unique opportunity. You are one of very few who have been granted a window into their hearts. It is a gift. Through your love and presence, you can offer light in what feels like darkness. If you’ve ever journeyed with another through a valley of grief, you know the deep bond that is often formed. Consequently, being brave enough to sit with children in their grief will expand your heart and strengthen theirs for the seasons ahead.

We’d love to hear from you, too! Share your insights and resources in the comments below.

Advent Coloring Sheets: The First Sneak Peak

Adam Walker Cleaveland 1 Comment

I’m really excited to be able to share with you a brief sneak peak into the product I’ll be releasing next month, including these fun Advent coloring posters. I’ve just been calling it the Advent/Christmas Product Pack – but it will have a more catchy name by next month. In addition to a new name, I’ve also been expanding what I hope to include in the pack. I’ll share with you the full contents in a few weeks, but I think you’re really going to like it and find it very helpful and useful.

One big change is that I’ve decided to offer both a Church Leader Edition and a Family Edition. When you purchase the Church Leader Edition, you will receive a promo code that you can give out to all of the families that are in your children and youth ministries, and they will be able to download additional materials that can both complement the materials in the Church Leader Edition, or be used on their own by families.

In addition to the materials that will be coming out next month (November 16), I also spent the past four days working on some Advent Coloring Sheets. I am really pleased with how they turned out, and am excited for all of the ways you may be able to use them in your ministries. You can check out these coloring pages, as well as all of our other Advent products for families and churches here.

Advent Coloring Posters

Many Potential Uses for Advent Coloring Posters

In addition to being able to use them as individual Advent coloring sheets, another option will be to download a special file format that I will have available which you can use to print large (4′ x 3′) coloring sheets out at Staples. We did this for my wife’s Sunday School classes this past week, and the kids had a blast being able to color as a group, and have a conversation about the word in the center.

The 4′ x 3′ coloring sheet
Caleb coloring the poster

This will be an exciting addition to the offerings that will be coming out next month. And so whether you’re on staff at a church, or a parent looking for some Advent-themed activities for your kids, these coloring sheets would work wonderfully.

It’s been a lot of fun to work on these Advent coloring sheets the past few days. Especially because I know that people across the world will be using them and finding fun and creative ways to use them in their ministries and families this upcoming Advent season.

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