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You are here: Home / Archives for Youth

Youth

Shut Down Bullying and Equip Kids to Be Agents of Love

Alissa Ellett Leave a Comment

We must take responsibility to teach our kids how to be agents of change when it comes to bullying. These conversations should start when kids are young.

bullying 101

How are you empowering your kids to end bullying and be agents of love in the world? We want to know and so does your ICM community! So, share your thoughts in the comments below.

The Epidemic of Bullying

According to the National Center of Education, as of 2016 more than 20 percent of students reported being bullied.

This statistic is staggering, especially considering the many ways bullying can affect students’ wellbeing. Targeted children often suffer from poor grades, sleep issues, anxiety, and depression.

In grades 6 through 12 alone, over a quarter of students have experienced bullying. Further, electronic bullying has become a huge problem in the past decade. Hand-held and other devices afford bullies constant, anonymous access to victims.

Also, we can’t forget to consider the students doing the bullying. They’re at a much higher risk for a whole host of issues that could extend into adulthood, ranging from violent behavior to substance abuse.

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What Is Bullying?

Bullying is a pattern of harming and teasing others. Those who are in some way more vulnerable than the bully become victims. It is a deliberate and repeated attempt to cause harm to others of lesser power.

The Importance of Connection

Bullies themselves have strained relationships with parents and peers. They are made, not born, and it happens at an early age. Patterns of bullying emerge if even the normal aggression of 2-year-olds isn’t handled with consistency.

Overall, bullies tend to lack behaviors that nurture social connection. They are often untroubled by anxiety and struggle to understand others’ feelings. And bullies commonly misread the intentions of others.

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Creating a Growth Environment

Less bullying takes place in environments that make connection possible. When students understand one another and feel safe to be authentic connection increases, which lowers rates of bullying. So, create a space where kids are safe to be themselves.

Challenge Day, an organization aimed at transforming through compassion, has served over 10,000 schools and impacted 1.5 millions students around the world. They spend a day with students doing activities that “provoke deep internal insights and empathy for others.” And they work to “create a genuine connection between people and promote the experience of belonging.”

Creating Connection within Your Students

Encourage Critical Thinking

Students are less likely to bully others when they can see ideas and problems from multiple perspectives. So, as you lead discussions with your students, invite them to think beyond assumptions. Likewise, make space for different opinions by asking open-ended questions and showing gratitude for each answer and idea.

Teach Empathy

From the earliest ages, children should take part in activities that boost social-emotional learning. Empathy is the practice of putting yourself in another person’s shoes, imagining their experience.

Assist children and youth in learning this skill by asking questions that encourage emotional reflection. As emotional awareness increases, one is more likely to be compassionate with others.

Lift Up Uniqueness

As a mentor, find ways to help children understand and appreciate their identity as well as others’. Kids are on a quest to establish who they are and what they’re about. Give them opportunities to express this in tangible ways.

For example, perhaps incorporate artistic expression into your year with them. Photography, art journaling, sculpture, painting, and poetry can be instrumental in helping children and youth find their unique voice and value the way God has made them.

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Empower Kids for Change

  • Be sure your students know how to spot bullying. The first step to prevention is knowing what it is.
  • Discuss how to respond if they see bullying happening.
  • Compile a list with them of people they can report bullying to.
  • Get familiar with their school environments. Ask questions about their social setting.
  • Keep your eye out for exclusion and teasing in your children’s and youth ministries and call it out.
  • Connect on social media with your students as a friend and advocate.
  • Teach your students how to engage in healthy ways online.

Don’t forget to share in the comments how you’re empowering your kids to end bullying and be agents of love in the world!

Parenting Forward: An interview with author Cindy Wang Brandt

Alissa Ellett Leave a Comment

Get the inside scoop from our conversation with Cindy Wang Brandt, author of Parenting Forward: How to Raise Children with Justice, Mercy, and Kindness, a phenomenal new book we’ve all been searching for.

parenting forward

Have you ever looked for solid faith-inspired parenting guidance? Some of us might have come up with only a few resources. And maybe some of us have given up trying after repeated disappointment. Well, we’ve got some great news. We found a serious gem for you to check out!

Here at Illustrated Children’s Ministry, we believe Parenting Forward by Cindy Wang Brandt is the book so many parents and church workers have long been searching for. And for the inside scoop, we got the chance to chat with Cindy herself.

Cindy speaks with such honesty, thoughtfulness, and grace. We think you’ll find her to be refreshing and her work to be a helpful tool for the journey. Oh, and drop your name in the hat to download the first chapter for free!

FREE CHAPTER SAMPLE

Would you like to download a free chapter from Cindy’s book. To receive your PDF download of the first chapter, click here!

Brought to Life

Q: First, Cindy, thanks so much for getting together to talk with us about Parenting Forward. How did you come to bring this book into the world?

A: As someone who grew up conservative evangelical, like many others in my generation, I’m starting to re-think a lot of my faith values. And as a parent, I realized that teaching children faith values I had not been taught, or have shifted away from, caused tension.

I needed to find a community who would wrestle with me, and join me in the task of re-imagining a faith that is relevant for our children and healthier for their well-being.

This book is a culmination of the conversations I’ve had with parenting and faith experts, and everyday parents, answering this guiding question: What does it look like to raise children WITH justice FOR justice?

parenting forward
Cindy Wang Brandt, author of Parenting Forward: How to Raise Children with Justice, Mercy, and Kindness

Q: What was the journey of writing Parenting Forward like?

A: Before I wrote this book, I spent my writing time in faith spaces and social justice conversations. I contended with big, serious theological propositions, and got outraged over injustice, to the point of burning out.

Writing this book allowed me to approach these critically important justice conversations from the perspective of children.

Anytime we are lucky enough to be in close proximity with children, they give us great joy. Their whimsy, vitality, and their always-surprising perspectives, are such a gift. The process of writing the book taught me that children and young people are essential for sustaining our justice movements because their presence is an everflowing source of hope.

Power Placement

Q: The element of allowing children autonomy and agency is an important one for you, which opposes a long-standing culture of children being seen and not heard. How can ministry leaders practically create environments that foster children’s autonomy and honor children’s voices?

A: When we think of inclusion, we often make the mistake of thinking being welcoming is enough. But it’s not enough to just welcome all different kinds of people into the church. We need to look at the leadership structure: who has the power to make the decisions that impact the church?

True inclusion gives access to those spaces – the decision-making spaces. For children, it’s not enough to tack children on to programs at the last minute and announce that children are very welcome. Children should be involved at the beginning of the planning process, and their opinions should be solicited and taken into consideration.

Of course, we can’t expect children to sit through hour-long church meetings (adults could stand to rethink hour-long meetings as well, for what it’s worth). However, we need to find ways to involve children’s participation in programming that’s designed for them.

Q: What markers can families look for in order to identify churches that are practicing justice with children?

A: I’d look for explicit affirmation of children in church bulletins, announcements, and whether children are given access in church spaces.

More broadly, I’d be on the lookout for authoritarianism in a church. Whenever a strict hierarchy is imposed where power flows from the top down, it’s a bad environment for children, because they always end up at the bottom of every hierarchy and given little control.

Again, look for where the power is located. If it’s centralized in solely patriarchal figures, that’s a red flag. If the power is distributed to groups and committees that are represented by women and other marginalized people, it is better positioned to treat children with justice.

parenting forward

Healthy Instruction

Q: Can you tell us a bit about teaching the Bible so kids use their power for justice and come away with a healthy spirituality?

A: Offer it to them not as doctrine, but as one tool out of many that they can use to exercise their spirituality. Give them responsible hermeneutics; in other words, help them learn the Bible in the way the Bible should be read, and not as a fundamentalist Bible Thumper. This includes situating Bible stories within a larger narrative framework, understanding the various genres, and doing critical engagement with the text.

Some of the potential pitfalls of incorrectly teaching the Bible to children include:

  • convincing children to use it as a moral manual (or map)
  • teaching children that the Bible should primarily be used as a tool for apologetics

(Psst… read even more about teaching kids how to use the Bible over here…)

For Further Reading

Q: What resources can you recommend to readers that have guided your journey in raising kids justly?

A: I love the book Raising White Kids, by Jennifer Harvey for inspiring racial justice. If you’re interested in diversifying your bookshelves, my favorite children’s book curation site is Books for Littles. Check out Amaze.org for quality sex education resources. Queer Kids Stuff is great, too, and teaches younger, pre-school kids about the gender spectrum. I’m really into what Radical Cram School is creating around diverse Asian girls’ voices.

For ministry resources…well, my go-to recommendation is Illustrated Children’s Ministry. (wink, wink) But I’ve also curated a list of children’s books for progressive spirituality over on Amazon.

Q: Again, thanks so much, Cindy. Where can our readers learn more about you and follow your work?

A: Thanks so much for having me! Check out more about me and my work over on my website.

Friends, do yourself a favor and grab a copy of Parenting Forward: How to Raise Children with Justice, Mercy, and Kindness.

Better yet, sign up to get a free sample by clicking here!

Shocking News About Gratitude and Raising Healthy Kids

Alissa Ellett Leave a Comment

Gratitude has a lot to teach us about healthy kids. Help your child blossom by simply bringing awareness to gratitude in your family’s life.

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We’ve even thought up three easy things you can do to invite gratitude into your family’s rhythm and transform your child’s life.

FREEBIE! And if you’d like to download a free printable Gratitude Fridge Sign to help you remember 5 ways of inspiring gratitude in children, you can click this link to get your free Gratitude Fridge Sign.

How are you cultivating gratitude in your home? Share with us in the comments below!

Why Does Gratitude Matter?

It turns out gratitude sparks a whole bunch of goodness and health in our lives! The wisdom of our spiritual foremothers and forefathers is even showing up today in academic research.

Over at UC Davis, Harvard, and Berkeley, there’s buzz about the massive benefits of being thankful. Are you ready for this?

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Gratitude…

  • can lower blood pressure and improve immune health
  • can reduce lifetime risk for depression, anxiety and substance abuse disorders
  • is a key resiliency factor in the prevention of suicide
  • can decrease the likelihood of smoking, alcohol abuse
  • blocks toxic emotions like envy, resentment, regret, and depression
  • is associated with healthy levels of cholesterol
  • can facilitate more efficient sleep
  • reduces stress hormones
  • contributes to a healthy nervous system
  • lowers levels of creatinine (an indicator of the kidney’s ability to filter waste in the body)
  • can improve diet and exercise routines
  • improves satisfaction in relationships
  • can create a more generalized sense of optimism and joy

My goodness! That’s an overwhelming number of perks. Do you want to help your children access these benefits with simple practices? Of course! Read on to invite more gratitude into your child’s life and your life, too.

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Give Together

Give things, talents, time, and resources to others, particularly those in need. Make this a common practice your child takes part in. Not only does this inspire gratitude; over time, actively giving to others shows them their worth as it relates to others. And it creates a habit of generosity.

Consumerism, in order to survive, tells us that we aren’t enough and we have too little. Giving to others helps a child see through this myth. In reality, we are enough and we each have so much to give.

Brainstorm with your child about what they have to give, e.g.: stuffed animals, clothes, money, time, or talents. Then, pay attention to their passions. Listen to what in the world makes them sad and angry. Pair this with their passion and equip them to make a difference.

Children learn the concept of abundance as they see just how much they already have. And awareness of abundance breeds gratitude.

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Model Empathy

Research is showing us that there’s an interesting correlation between empathy and gratitude. The way adults relate to children may have an impact on their ability to gratitude as they grow.

Older children who practice gratitude were more likely as young children to have understood the emotions of others. So, help children notice and interpret others’ emotional experiences.

Talk with children about how they feel and why, even from the beginning of life. Also, model this as you reflect with them on your own feelings.

Research tells us that when caregivers lay this foundation for emotional intelligence they simultaneously plant seeds that will grow gratitude later.

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Express It Together

Consistently express as a family what it is that you are each, and collectively, thankful for. For example, say grace before eating. Do bedtime prayers. Or take time during meals or drives to and from school to share things you’re grateful for.

It doesn’t need to be a big production. Remind your children (and yourself) that it isn’t about saying it the right way. Simply give voice to the gifts you all come across in your day.

Sharing special times of gratitude brings your child’s attention to happy and hopeful moments during their day. Consequently, they’ll form neuropathways that encourage gratitude, joy, generosity, and health going forward. Powerful gifts for our kids, right?!

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We hope your family discovers even more ways of inviting gratitude into your home! You are already giving your child treasures to take with them each time you practice gratitude. And what will the world look like once these resilient, hopeful and strong kids grow into adults? I can only imagine and we can’t wait to be witness to their greatness.

Happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating. May it be rich and restful and bursting with gratitude.

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