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You are here: Home / Archives for Youth

Youth

Talk to Kids About Sin and Restoration without Shaming Them

Alissa Ellett 1 Comment

What’s sin? Have you, like so many others, ever stumbled over your words trying to answer questions like these from your kids? You’re definitely not alone. Talking to kids about sin can feel like a daunting task.

sin

Maybe you were taught something about sin as a kid that was hurtful or traumatic. And, you don’t want to duplicate that for your kids. Or maybe you’ve moved out of your church background. And now that your ideas have shifted, you’re not sure how to communicate them.

We hope to offer you a few tools for going about talking to your kids about sin in a restorative way. How do you engage this topic with your kids? Share with us in the comments below!

Talking about Sin and Power with Kids

Before beginning any conversation with children and youth about sin, be sure you highlight God’s endless and boundless love. There is more than enough forgiveness for any of our personal or communal screw-ups. Jesus’ grace for even those who betrayed and murdered him is evidence enough for this truth.

Explain that sin has a whole lot to do with power. When there is an imbalance of power, we know that somehow somewhere a person or group is missing the mark. This is what we call sin. Tell your kids that we all miss the mark sometimes and hurt others and/or ourselves.

sin

Give them some examples that will make sense to them. When one group of people has more power to access food, housing, parks, money, education, healthcare, safety, etc. than another, somehow, somewhere, a person or group is missing the mark.

Perhaps, if they are old enough, invite them to give some of their own examples where there are those with more power to access certain things than others. Wonder with them about why that might be.

Explain to your kids that God intends and longs for us all to live an abundant life. A life filled with possibility, hope, and joy. A life that is thriving, because it doesn’t need to be primarily concerned with survival. Then, we begin to share in abundant living together.

sin

Looking at Sin Individually and Systemically

Awareness and responsibility are the two most important skills we can teach our children when it comes to creating systems that allow equal access for all. So, help your children look for ways they can be balancers of power.

Individually, when trying to stay more powerful than others we become overly concerned with the maintenance of our reputation, stuff, appearance, and status. We start thinking mine and me rather than ours and us.

And when this happens, we shun vulnerability and can begin to lie, horde, gossip, steal, ignore others’ needs, and use violence.

Systemically, sin functions in a similar way. But instead of individuals, large groups making decisions for mine and me rather than ours and us. The effects can feel pretty far removed from the issues we see in the world. However, you can help your kids learn how to decode this.

sin

Decoding Sin with Kids

To begin decoding sin in a situation, locate an area of suffering. Then, look to see if power to access something is being restricted. Help them search for the why. Figure out a cause. And finally, consider taking action. Here’s an example.

The suffering: Perhaps there are kids getting into trouble after school.

Lack of power to access: Maybe there aren’t safe, constructive activities to do within walking distance.

The why: Kids’ parents are working and can’t pick them up from school to drive them home or to an activity.

The cause: Cost of living force parents to be unavailable. A lack of allocated city resources for parks and recreation.

The action: Start an after school program for homework help or a seasonal sports tournament series. Petition the city for funding. Run a campaign for parks. Create a vanpool to transport kids to after school activities. Start a music program for youth.

Search anywhere. Look in the church, the family, the classroom, the office, the governing bodies, the land. You have endless opportunities to teach your kids about missing the mark and righting wrongs.

sin

Maintain the Connection

No matter what the question a child brings forth to you, maintain the connection. The fact that they feel comfortable enough to bring the ideas and uncertainty to you is huge. Honor that, and you’ll be serving your relationship and offering them a whole lot of confidence to wonder about their faith.

And don’t forget to share with us in the comments below! How do you teach your kids about sin in restorative ways?

These 5 Kids’ Books about Empathy Teach Us How to Love Like God

Alissa Ellett 1 Comment

Read these kids’ books about empathy with your young ones and teach them how to live out their faith in tangible ways every day.

kids books about empathy

What kids’ books about empathy do you enjoy with your young ones? Tell us in the comments below!

Why does empathy matter?

We begin to understand others. When we practice empathy, we place ourselves in someone else’s shoes. This is important for so many reasons.

Empathy teaches us about God’s love. God lived in the person of Jesus. And God lives within and through us and all of creation now. God, by nature of being incarnational, is empathetic. We love like God when we practice empathy.

Empathy enriches our relationships. When we use our energy to understand those around us we become more connected. We know our close ones more deeply. And around us people feel safer to be who they are.

Empathy improves group dynamics. When a group is full of people who practice empathy lots of amazing things are true. Violence is lower. Communication is better. Self-expression increases. Creativity and innovation thrive.

Empathy helps us cultivate self-acceptance. We learn to understand the experience of others. Consequently, we begin to see our past self as an “other” to understand. We can look to less aware, experienced, healthy, kind, brave… selves as ones to be seen and loved.

Bottom line? Empathy is utterly foundational to making compassionate decisions. If we are to live out our faith with compassion, which is kind of the point, we must develop our ability to empathize.

kids books on empathy

Wonder

Age range: 8-12 years old

August Pullman is a 10-year-old boy who likes Star Wars and Xbox, ordinary except for his jarring facial anomalies. Homeschooled all his life, August heads to public school for fifth grade and he is not the only one changed by the experience–something we learn about first-hand through the narratives of those who orbit his world. August’s internal dialogue and interactions with students and family ring true, and though remarkably courageous he comes across as a sweet, funny boy who wants the same things others want: friendship, understanding, and the freedom to be himself.

Auggie & Me

Age range: 8-12 years old

Auggie & Me gives readers a special look at the world of Wonder through three new points of view. These stories are an extra peek at Auggie before he started at Beecher Prep and during his first year there. Readers get to see him through the eyes of Julian, the bully; Christopher, Auggie’s oldest friend; and Charlotte, Auggie’s new friend at school. What an opportunity for empathic learning! Together, these three stories are a treasure for readers who don’t want to leave Auggie behind.

kids books on empathy

Amazing Grace

Age range: 4-8 years old

Grace loves stories, whether she hears them, reads them, or makes them up. Possessed with a marvelous imagination as well as a strong flair for the dramatic, she acts the stories out, always giving herself the most exciting parts. Thus, it is natural when her teacher announces a classroom production of Peter Pan , that Grace wants to play the lead. One classmate says she can’t because she’s a girl and another says she can’t because she’s black. When a saddened Grace relates the days events to her mother and grandmother, they tell her she can be anything she wants to, if she puts her mind to it.

The Invisible Boy

Age range: 6-9 years old

The Invisible Boy follows the journey of Brian, a boy who feels unnoticed by his peers – invisible – in school. Brian is the only kid not chosen for a kickball team and is left out of a fellow student’s birthday party. It isn’t until a new kid, Justin – a boy with a few quirks of his own – joins the class that Brian begins to feel more visible.

The One and Only Ivan

Age range: 8-12 years old

Having spent twenty-seven years behind the glass walls of his enclosure in a shopping mall, Ivan, a captive gorilla, has grown accustomed to humans watching him. He hardly ever thinks about his life in the jungle. Instead, Ivan occupies himself with television, his friends Stella and Bob, and painting. But when he meets Ruby, a baby elephant taken from the wild, he is forced to see their home, and his art, through new eyes.

Have fun reading these kids’ books on empathy with your young ones. And don’t forget to share your ideas, too, in the comments below!

Shut Down Bullying and Equip Kids to Be Agents of Love

Alissa Ellett Leave a Comment

We must take responsibility to teach our kids how to be agents of change when it comes to bullying. These conversations should start when kids are young.

bullying 101

How are you empowering your kids to end bullying and be agents of love in the world? We want to know and so does your ICM community! So, share your thoughts in the comments below.

The Epidemic of Bullying

According to the National Center of Education, as of 2016 more than 20 percent of students reported being bullied.

This statistic is staggering, especially considering the many ways bullying can affect students’ wellbeing. Targeted children often suffer from poor grades, sleep issues, anxiety, and depression.

In grades 6 through 12 alone, over a quarter of students have experienced bullying. Further, electronic bullying has become a huge problem in the past decade. Hand-held and other devices afford bullies constant, anonymous access to victims.

Also, we can’t forget to consider the students doing the bullying. They’re at a much higher risk for a whole host of issues that could extend into adulthood, ranging from violent behavior to substance abuse.

bullying 102

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is a pattern of harming and teasing others. Those who are in some way more vulnerable than the bully become victims. It is a deliberate and repeated attempt to cause harm to others of lesser power.

The Importance of Connection

Bullies themselves have strained relationships with parents and peers. They are made, not born, and it happens at an early age. Patterns of bullying emerge if even the normal aggression of 2-year-olds isn’t handled with consistency.

Overall, bullies tend to lack behaviors that nurture social connection. They are often untroubled by anxiety and struggle to understand others’ feelings. And bullies commonly misread the intentions of others.

bullying 103

Creating a Growth Environment

Less bullying takes place in environments that make connection possible. When students understand one another and feel safe to be authentic connection increases, which lowers rates of bullying. So, create a space where kids are safe to be themselves.

Challenge Day, an organization aimed at transforming through compassion, has served over 10,000 schools and impacted 1.5 millions students around the world. They spend a day with students doing activities that “provoke deep internal insights and empathy for others.” And they work to “create a genuine connection between people and promote the experience of belonging.”

Creating Connection within Your Students

Encourage Critical Thinking

Students are less likely to bully others when they can see ideas and problems from multiple perspectives. So, as you lead discussions with your students, invite them to think beyond assumptions. Likewise, make space for different opinions by asking open-ended questions and showing gratitude for each answer and idea.

Teach Empathy

From the earliest ages, children should take part in activities that boost social-emotional learning. Empathy is the practice of putting yourself in another person’s shoes, imagining their experience.

Assist children and youth in learning this skill by asking questions that encourage emotional reflection. As emotional awareness increases, one is more likely to be compassionate with others.

Lift Up Uniqueness

As a mentor, find ways to help children understand and appreciate their identity as well as others’. Kids are on a quest to establish who they are and what they’re about. Give them opportunities to express this in tangible ways.

For example, perhaps incorporate artistic expression into your year with them. Photography, art journaling, sculpture, painting, and poetry can be instrumental in helping children and youth find their unique voice and value the way God has made them.

bullying 103

Empower Kids for Change

  • Be sure your students know how to spot bullying. The first step to prevention is knowing what it is.
  • Discuss how to respond if they see bullying happening.
  • Compile a list with them of people they can report bullying to.
  • Get familiar with their school environments. Ask questions about their social setting.
  • Keep your eye out for exclusion and teasing in your children’s and youth ministries and call it out.
  • Connect on social media with your students as a friend and advocate.
  • Teach your students how to engage in healthy ways online.

Don’t forget to share in the comments how you’re empowering your kids to end bullying and be agents of love in the world!

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