Collaborative Youth Ministry: Moving Past the Model of D.I.Y.

GUEST WRITER: LOUISA UMPHRES

I grew up with the mantra, “If you want something done well, do it yourself.” This was so deeply understood in my family that, for Father’s Day each year, my sisters and I would never bake the cobbler my father requested. Instead, we would set out the right bowls, pre-sift and peel ingredients, and preheat the oven. We knew that what my dad actually wanted was to bake his own dessert. He was right, of course—he makes a damn good peach cobbler. And if he wanted it done well, he would prefer to do it himself.

Several hands stacked together in the center of a table as a sign of teamwork, with the text "Collaborative Youth Ministry: do it yourself, or do it together?" on the right side.

Do-It-Yourself Ministry

It is easy to poke holes in this philosophy, of course. Ministry is necessarily a team sport. But the inertia of our DIY culture is strong. And for those of us constantly at the precipice of being overprogrammed and overworked, another layer of do-it-yourself-ing is very real. If you want something done efficiently, do it yourself.

Illumination Youth Ministry, LLC

In the fall of 2021, a group of pastors in our region found ourselves in a rare situation. The powers of inertia and efficiency were put on ‘pause’ by the pandemic. This felt especially acute in our youth ministries. There were fewer youth showing up. We were losing ‘critical mass,’ that magic number of youth that makes it feel like a group, rather than one-on-one time.

But while critical mass had disappeared, so had expectations. For years, churches in our region had attempted joint projects, trips, and events, all to limited success. The desire was there, but the logistics were always tangled and conflicting.

Here was a chance to hit the ‘reset’ button—to forget all of our previous calendars, rhythms, and traditions. Here was our opportunity to attempt a much broader joint venture.

By spring, we had pulled together the five PC(USA) churches in our geographical region to form a joint Northern Kentucky youth program, Illumination Youth Ministry, LLC. Within a few months, the UCC churches and a few Disciples churches in the area also joined. In the fall of 2022, we officially kicked off our programming.

And thank God we did. The future of the church might not be denominational, but it sure is connectional. Our youth need each other. We need each other.

A single red rose blooming on a long thorny stem against a soft gray background, highlighting both beauty and challenge.

Collaborative Youth Ministry: Thorns, Roses, and Buds

In the great youth group tradition, here are some of the thorns (lows/challenges), roses (highs/gifts/wins), and buds (hope for the future) that have emerged as we have attempted a connectional youth ministry.

Thorns: Challenges of Collaborative Youth Ministry

A close-up illustration of a rose stem covered in sharp thorns, with dark green leaves and a soft pink rose partially visible.

Inertia

Change is hard. Traditions are important, especially in youth ministry. Look who wrote about this way back in the day! Some habits have been hard to break, and we have discovered a few golden calves along the way. Youth summer trips, for instance, create a powerful sense of belonging and meaning. That makes them essential for helping our new group gel, but it also makes individual church habits more entrenched. One church always travels to Montreat, where they stay in the same house every summer. Another offers mission trips. Navigating these compromises has taken additional time and grace.

Inefficiency

Coordinating with other people, not to mention other churches and denominations, requires significantly more time and energy than working independently. This ministry is slow-going. We have been at this for three years, and everything still feels experimental.

Power dynamics

Some churches can give more money, more youth, or more time. Some are risking more than others. Plus, there are power dynamics between youth and adults. There is no way to eliminate these tensions, but we work hard to name them and be sensitive to them.

Youth ministry is hard!

You already know this, but here are a few articles to help you understand the challenges in youth ministry:

Roses: The Celebrations of Collaborative Youth Ministry

A horizontal watercolor illustration of fully bloomed red roses and rosebuds clustered together with green leaves.

Our Youth Coordinator

A tremendous gift was our decision to make a new hire for the ministry. After creating a working group that included representation from the initial five congregations, we developed a job description and interview process that were both agreed upon. The position is housed within one of the congregations, whose Personnel committee and policies ensure accountability and support. It is also supervised by the pastor of that congregation, but annual reviews have included the chair of the Illuminations Board. They are fabulous, and one of their many gifts is neutrality. They have obligations with an unrelated congregation on Sunday mornings, but make themselves available to each of the Illumination congregations on occasional Sunday mornings.

Colleagues

Having healthy relationships among the clergy in our area has been key to initial coordination and continues to be a gift at every level. The longevity of many of our pastorates has led to deep friendships and collegiality in our region. We are intentional about offering help and keeping one another in prayer (and yes, it didn’t hurt that the pastor at the Presbyterian church in Ft. Thomas was married to the pastor in the UCC church in Ft. Thomas!).

Shared values over shared culture.

Each of our churches has a unique culture, but we have found ourselves tied by deeply held shared values, particularly in a region where those values do not always align with the majority. This has given us a clear, united, and unique vision for our ministry.

The power of two…or more.

Some of our churches only have one or two youth. Inviting them to a group where we know they won’t be alone makes all the difference.

Youth ministry is worth it.

You already know this, but here are some links anyway.

Buds: The Hope of Collaborative Youth Ministry

A repeating watercolor pattern of green rose stems with small pink rosebuds on a white background.

Culture shift

Leadership within each church has continually stressed that our congregations are not in competition. We are not poaching one another’s youth. We are on the same team. This shift takes time and a regular, repetitive drumbeat of reminders. It also comes from the bottom up! Our youth and their parents now know each other and are building deeper relationships. I have begun to see this non-competitive and cooperative attitude seep into other areas of ministry, and I am excited to see where we can coordinate next.

Two people standing side by side at a floured wooden counter, kneading and rolling out dough together, symbolizing shared effort and collaboration.

Let’s Do It Together

If you want a cobbler baked to your personal specifications, consider going it alone. If you want a ministry to run to prime efficiency, consider going it alone. But as for doing things ‘well’? The roses have always been worth the thorns, and there are so many buds we have yet to see! I am so grateful to be part of a community of churches willing to risk do-it-together ministry.

Louisa Umphres

Louisa is a PC(USA) pastor who revels in the wild variety ministry offers. She lives with her husband and two children in northern Kentucky, where she serves as the Head of Staff at Lakeside Presbyterian Church. Her passions include coffee, Tex-Mex cuisine, and reality television, but she also dabbles in gardening, yodeling, and playing the cello.