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You are here: Home / Archives for Parenting

Parenting

Parenting Forward: An interview with author Cindy Wang Brandt

Alissa Ellett Leave a Comment

Get the inside scoop from our conversation with Cindy Wang Brandt, author of Parenting Forward: How to Raise Children with Justice, Mercy, and Kindness, a phenomenal new book we’ve all been searching for.

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Have you ever looked for solid faith-inspired parenting guidance? Some of us might have come up with only a few resources. And maybe some of us have given up trying after repeated disappointment. Well, we’ve got some great news. We found a serious gem for you to check out!

Here at Illustrated Children’s Ministry, we believe Parenting Forward by Cindy Wang Brandt is the book so many parents and church workers have long been searching for. And for the inside scoop, we got the chance to chat with Cindy herself.

Cindy speaks with such honesty, thoughtfulness, and grace. We think you’ll find her to be refreshing and her work to be a helpful tool for the journey. Oh, and drop your name in the hat to download the first chapter for free!

FREE CHAPTER SAMPLE

Would you like to download a free chapter from Cindy’s book. To receive your PDF download of the first chapter, click here!

Brought to Life

Q: First, Cindy, thanks so much for getting together to talk with us about Parenting Forward. How did you come to bring this book into the world?

A: As someone who grew up conservative evangelical, like many others in my generation, I’m starting to re-think a lot of my faith values. And as a parent, I realized that teaching children faith values I had not been taught, or have shifted away from, caused tension.

I needed to find a community who would wrestle with me, and join me in the task of re-imagining a faith that is relevant for our children and healthier for their well-being.

This book is a culmination of the conversations I’ve had with parenting and faith experts, and everyday parents, answering this guiding question: What does it look like to raise children WITH justice FOR justice?

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Cindy Wang Brandt, author of Parenting Forward: How to Raise Children with Justice, Mercy, and Kindness

Q: What was the journey of writing Parenting Forward like?

A: Before I wrote this book, I spent my writing time in faith spaces and social justice conversations. I contended with big, serious theological propositions, and got outraged over injustice, to the point of burning out.

Writing this book allowed me to approach these critically important justice conversations from the perspective of children.

Anytime we are lucky enough to be in close proximity with children, they give us great joy. Their whimsy, vitality, and their always-surprising perspectives, are such a gift. The process of writing the book taught me that children and young people are essential for sustaining our justice movements because their presence is an everflowing source of hope.

Power Placement

Q: The element of allowing children autonomy and agency is an important one for you, which opposes a long-standing culture of children being seen and not heard. How can ministry leaders practically create environments that foster children’s autonomy and honor children’s voices?

A: When we think of inclusion, we often make the mistake of thinking being welcoming is enough. But it’s not enough to just welcome all different kinds of people into the church. We need to look at the leadership structure: who has the power to make the decisions that impact the church?

True inclusion gives access to those spaces – the decision-making spaces. For children, it’s not enough to tack children on to programs at the last minute and announce that children are very welcome. Children should be involved at the beginning of the planning process, and their opinions should be solicited and taken into consideration.

Of course, we can’t expect children to sit through hour-long church meetings (adults could stand to rethink hour-long meetings as well, for what it’s worth). However, we need to find ways to involve children’s participation in programming that’s designed for them.

Q: What markers can families look for in order to identify churches that are practicing justice with children?

A: I’d look for explicit affirmation of children in church bulletins, announcements, and whether children are given access in church spaces.

More broadly, I’d be on the lookout for authoritarianism in a church. Whenever a strict hierarchy is imposed where power flows from the top down, it’s a bad environment for children, because they always end up at the bottom of every hierarchy and given little control.

Again, look for where the power is located. If it’s centralized in solely patriarchal figures, that’s a red flag. If the power is distributed to groups and committees that are represented by women and other marginalized people, it is better positioned to treat children with justice.

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Healthy Instruction

Q: Can you tell us a bit about teaching the Bible so kids use their power for justice and come away with a healthy spirituality?

A: Offer it to them not as doctrine, but as one tool out of many that they can use to exercise their spirituality. Give them responsible hermeneutics; in other words, help them learn the Bible in the way the Bible should be read, and not as a fundamentalist Bible Thumper. This includes situating Bible stories within a larger narrative framework, understanding the various genres, and doing critical engagement with the text.

Some of the potential pitfalls of incorrectly teaching the Bible to children include:

  • convincing children to use it as a moral manual (or map)
  • teaching children that the Bible should primarily be used as a tool for apologetics

(Psst… read even more about teaching kids how to use the Bible over here…)

For Further Reading

Q: What resources can you recommend to readers that have guided your journey in raising kids justly?

A: I love the book Raising White Kids, by Jennifer Harvey for inspiring racial justice. If you’re interested in diversifying your bookshelves, my favorite children’s book curation site is Books for Littles. Check out Amaze.org for quality sex education resources. Queer Kids Stuff is great, too, and teaches younger, pre-school kids about the gender spectrum. I’m really into what Radical Cram School is creating around diverse Asian girls’ voices.

For ministry resources…well, my go-to recommendation is Illustrated Children’s Ministry. (wink, wink) But I’ve also curated a list of children’s books for progressive spirituality over on Amazon.

Q: Again, thanks so much, Cindy. Where can our readers learn more about you and follow your work?

A: Thanks so much for having me! Check out more about me and my work over on my website.

Friends, do yourself a favor and grab a copy of Parenting Forward: How to Raise Children with Justice, Mercy, and Kindness.

Better yet, sign up to get a free sample by clicking here!

Tell Kids the Truth About Santa Claus This Christmas

Alissa Ellett 9 Comments

Santa Claus is a mythical man who has even more gifts to give than his story has ever told us.

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That jovial and magical man who adores reindeer and arrives amidst the sound of sleigh bells. He hails from the North Pole where elves have been toiling away on presents just for us.

These stories create wonder and excitement. And they’re a major part of the fun for many of our families at Christmas time.

But, do you ever wonder if there’s more to the story? Or ever questioned how we got from Jesus’ day of birth to a man descending chimneys with presents. Read on, ’cause I’ve got some really cool stuff to tell you about Santa and it’s only gonna make this Christmas even more meaningful.

FREE SAINT NICHOLAS COLORING PAGE: Download a free coloring page that highlights Saint Nicholas’s life. Click here to access the downloadable PDF.

How do you talk with the children in your life about Santa Claus? We’d love to know in the comments below.

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Historical Roots of Santa Claus

280 A.D.: A boy named Nicholas is born in modern day Turkey. He later becomes a monk known for piety and generosity, giving away all his inherited wealth and traveling to help the poor and sick.

1300: By the Renaissance, he was the most popular saint in Europe, especially in Holland. The Dutch Sint Nikolaas is shortened to Sinter Klaas, and in English that’s… Santa Claus!

He was celebrated in the Church for generations on December 6th, the anniversary of his death, and became known as a protector of children and sailors.

1780s: Santa Clause comes into American culture when New York newspapers report Dutch families celebrating his death in the streets.

Early 1800s: St. Nick is named New York’s patron saint.

1820s: Shopping and gift-giving become a popular way to celebrate Christmas.

1822: An Episcopal minister writes a poem for his daughters that creates the reindeer-loving, sleigh-riding, gift-giving Santa we know today. This poem later becomes known as ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.

1881: An illustrator draws a picture of a North Pole-hailing, jolly, rotund man he calls Santa Claus. Santa is complete with a fur-trimmed suit, wife, workshop, and elves.

Department store and advertising executives took it from there. And here we are!

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Santa Claus and Baby Jesus

So, Sint Nikolaas wasn’t associated with Christmas at all for hundreds of years. But, as time passed, a three-stranded braid of Santa Claus, Jesus’ birth, and commercialism came together to create the Christmas celebration we know today.

Since Saint Nicholas’ feast day was so close to Christmas it’s easy to make the connection. Also, his life was one that speaks to Christ’s legacy on Earth, dedicating his life to helping the marginalized.

So, is this conflating of myth, culture, and history bad? Nope.

Life always informs theology. Therefore, faith without the blending of ideas with culture and truth is simply impossible. There’s no such thing as pure religion anywhere in the world. Religion is essentially the blending of broad culture, faith experience, and theological reflection.

Consequently, we have things like the Easter Bunny, egg hunts, clergy robes, rosary beads. At Christmas, it’s Christmas trees, twinkle lights, stockings, presents, and Elf on a Shelf.

The historical evolution of the Santa myth and its significance is a great example of this blending. We have collectively found ways to bring this monk-turned-mythical-creature into the celebration of Jesus’ birth.

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The Legacy of Santa Claus

The fanciful stories we tell of reindeer, sleigh bells, the North Pole, elves, and the wonder they create in children’s hearts and minds, is a major part of Christmas fun.

But, Santa was also a real guy with a lot to tell us about living beautifully. When we know the history, Saint Nicholas’s life is filled with stuff we’d love our kids to know and practice. So, how can we teach our kids this man’s amazing legacy?

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Enriching Christmas for Children

Consider sharing with your children that Santa did some pretty spectacular stuff without any magic required.

He lived his life as an act of worship to God. Saint Nicholas shifted his focus to what God was up to and used his life to take part in that beauty. As a result, he lived his life as a song of thanksgiving.

A question we might ponder: When are we pointing out to our children God’s beauty all around and within them?

He lived his life in service of others. Saint Nicholas traveled the countryside helping the sick and poor. For example, he gave dowries to a family on the brink of selling their three daughters into prostitution.

A question we might ponder: How might we model for children the use our lives and resources to help those marginalized in our communities?

He was fueled by his faith. Saint Nicholas’s relationship with God energized him. As a result, he was filled with love and stamina to bring God’s healing into places of fear and pain.

A question we might ponder: What practices are we teaching our children that help them connect to God?

He lived with generosity. Saint Nicholas gave away all his inherited wealth to help others. His acts of generosity can inspire us to give freely.

A question we might ponder: How are we inviting our children to live generously through giving to others?

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However you handle the Santa story, have fun imagining ways to infuse your celebration of Saint Nick with the richness of this amazing monk’s life.

All of us at ICM hope your Christmas is infused with beauty that inspires you and yours to live in the abundance of God’s wonder, celebrating the birth of Christ, and those whose lives have told the story of Jesus’ legacy.

And, in the comments below, don’t forget to tell us how you talk with children in your life about Saint Nicholas!

Craft a Morning Routine That Will Revolutionize Your Family’s Life

Alissa Ellett Leave a Comment

Invite joy into your family’s life by creating a morning routine. It’s all about pure consistency. Quieting the clutter of the mind and daily rhythms allows your children (and you!) to connect to what God is up to more easily. Share what your mornings are like in the comments below!

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Creating the Best-Ever Morning Routine

Children, like all of us, thrive with healthy structure. A healthy structure is consistent yet adaptable. Our mind and body know what to expect with consistency. And adaptability means we listen to our current needs, notice what is possible at the time and shift in necessary ways.

Life is unpredictable, as are children’s needs. Therefore, a child’s mood, fatigue level, possible illness, hunger level, will, among other things, all affect how routines play out.

Not only do children’s needs affect consistency. Life’s twists and turns do, too. Weather, work, school schedules, travel, family, cars, and all manner of other variables make it impossible to demand perfect adherence to the routines of life.

And, so, we do our best. And that’s enough, always.

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Children Need Presence, Not Perfection

When parents look at their efforts, they often feel guilty. We wish we could give more. More time, more hugs and kisses, more patience, more grace, more fun memories, more locally sourced organic home-cooked meals. More (fill in your blank).

But, guess what? Your kids don’t need you or their life to be perfect. Let yourself off the hook. Having the easiest, most comfortable life isn’t actually what sets any of us up for strength and resilience and hope, anyway.

Your kids need you to be present.

I don’t mean your kids need you to be near them every moment of the day. Instead, your kids need you to notice them, value their experience, be mindful of your relationship with them. From this place of presence, the rest flows with enough to go around.

So, as you consider creating a morning routine with your kids, strive for consistency and presence that informs your adaptability. Ignore unreachable standards. None of us will meet them, and we don’t need to.

Flow with the hopes and needs of today, and let the rest go.

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A Morning Routine Will Revolutionize Your Life

A consistent and adaptable morning routine offers our children and us several precious things, among them is a little more sanity.

A morning routine creates predictability. When children know what to expect, they feel safer and more at ease. This allows for them to handle other things that come their way. With more of their nervous system’s reserve available to them, they are more likely to roll with unforeseen stuff that pops up.

A morning routine grounds us. When adaptive, we help children learn the valuable lesson of paying attention to their needs. We help children learn the art of presence when we offer them opportunities to listen to how they are feeling and then act accordingly.

A morning routine encourages independence. As daily rhythms become familiar, children are more able to carry out tasks on their own. This frees up time for parents, which is always a win. Additionally, children take ownership and pride in caring for themselves, which is a boost for self-confidence.

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A morning routine establishes trust. Children with routines in their lives trust more in the world and others. As routines are created, children learn they can count on things happening. Consequently, as they live within this safety healthy risk-taking and development is possible.

A morning routine means less conflict. When children can care more effectively for themselves and know what to expect, less conflict arises. There is less arguing about what needs to be done. Mornings can be rough, especially with those cranky kids who are more night owls than early birds. So…WIN!

A morning routine eases transitions. Transitions between activities can be difficult for any of us and particularly for children. For example, the change from sleeping to school can be a trying one. With routines established, children can more easily emotionally and mentally prepare for what’s ahead.

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Ideas for Creating Your Child’s Morning Routine

As you consider creating a morning routine with your child, think about the things that must happen. For example, list necessities like:

  • Eat breakfast
  • Brush teeth
  • Brush hair
  • Get dressed
  • Check backpack

Then, include something that quenches your soul’s thirst and goes beyond the necessary. Perhaps add a dance party or meditative prayer just before leaving for school.

Being a parent is demanding no matter our life situation. So, don’t forget to incorporate small daily things that bring you joy. The morning is the perfect time to start off doing so.

How will you use your family’s morning routine to connect to God’s life-giving, joy-producing presence this school year? Don’t forget to share in the comments below. We love hearing from you!

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