GUEST WRITER: FRANCES WATTMAN ROSENAU
Part One: Why Churches Should Create Phone-Free Youth Spaces
Part Two: Helping Your Church Embrace Phone-Free Youth Ministry
I get it. We all want church to be cool. We want young people to feel welcome to be themselves and not feel like they are at school. We, as church leaders, probably thought letting them have their phones helped.
Appealing to youth is important, and by all means, the church should maintain a warm, approachable, and authentic attitude in all that we do. But we don’t have to sacrifice these values to give students what they really need: a break from their phones.
Church is a place for:
- providing for students in times of spiritual need;
- supporting them as they grow in Christ;
- valuing young people for who they are;
- providing tools and a community as God shapes them into their adult selves.
Why Going Phone-Free Matters
Soon, youth will have to make their own decisions about life, faith, and values. Their relationship with technology, particularly phones, will be one of those decisions. The church can help youth practice decision-making and give them the tools they need to navigate an ever-changing world.
Going phone-free may seem extreme. You may hear comments from your congregation in favor of taking a measured approach. And it’s probably a leap for most people to see cell phones in the same light as other nefarious behaviors.
Return to Part One early and often to remind yourself and others of the silent but insidious impact screen use has on young people’s mental health and brain development. Additionally, pornography and predatory grooming are rampant on online platforms.
Adults may not want to be perceived as overly restrictive and may be reluctant to set tech limits. Families may be uncomfortable being disconnected from their students while they are at church. Even so, it’s important not to privilege adults’ convenience over students’ flourishing. Adults can endure the discomfort or slight inconvenience if it means youth will reap the benefits.
Consider framing it for your team as an experiment. Try a tech-free policy for six months and see what you learn. Once you’re ready to get started, here are a few suggestions on working with families and adult leaders.
Preparing Families for a Phone-Free Youth Ministry
Practical tips for communicating with families:
- Communicate with families early and often, through many different avenues (e.g., meetings, phone calls, email, newsletter).
- Have a parent information session explaining tech boundaries and why they’re important in the church context.
- Provide clear ways to communicate with adult leaders or volunteers during the program in the case of an emergency or if pick-up logistics change, etc.
- Suggest that families encourage students not to bring devices at all.
Equipping Adult Leaders
Share the “Why”
Orient adult leaders to the new guidelines ahead of time. Share the “why” with them and the benefits of going phone-free. Encourage youth leaders to read one of the suggested books from Part One. Consider having a book club to prepare adults in your congregation for the proposed changes.
Listen to Their Concerns
Depending on their experience, leaders may be skeptical. They may be so tied to their own phones they’re also uncomfortable with the change. Listen to their concerns; meet with them one-on-one. Emphasize that their leadership and commitment are crucial to making this change for students.
Invite Them to Take Ownership
Invite leaders to brainstorm with you. They may have creative ideas for protocols, solutions, and implementation.
Equip Them to be Ambassadors
Parents or students may come to leaders directly with questions. Make sure they are equipped to be ambassadors for a phone-free space. What we don’t want is for a volunteer leader to shrug and say, “This whole thing is the pastor’s idea.” All adults need to be aligned and present unified support for the new approach.
Putting a Phone-Free Youth Ministry into Practice
Building Community
By now, most young people have heard reasons to limit device use. They may also have experience at school or at home with device boundaries. Use this opportunity to talk about the kind of community they want to build together and how they want to support one another in their faith.
Reframe the Benefits of Going Phone-Free
Stay positive! They will pick up your tone, so start with a positive reframe. Maybe they have a story like the one in Part Two about being disconnected in a remote place. Invite them to share. Also, The Amazing Generation shares real stories of young people who are choosing a less-connected life. The point is not to come down with an authoritarian hand, but to practice a different way of being together.
Create a Group Covenant
If you already have group agreements, incorporate phone-free language and practices into them. Let students contribute and make suggestions. Invite personal experiences or observations about feeling left out or when other people are on their devices.
Use or adapt this sample covenant to use with your group:
Sample Phone-Free Youth Group Covenant
While we are here, I will prioritize the people in this room. I’ll put away all devices and turn off notifications on watches. I may not know everyone here or feel fully comfortable in this environment. While I’m here, I will learn and engage with my whole self.
I will:
- Be open to new people and new ideas.
- Give my best mental and spiritual energy to our time together.
- Participate in discussions and activities.
- Be present and engaged.
- Have fun! Be silly and playful and as ridiculous as is appropriate with the people who are here.
- Be myself, share my feelings, my ups and downs, and let myself be accepted in this group of Christ-followers.
Make It Fun
Use a shoe hanger or phone case that everyone puts their devices in as they arrive. Give points for turning in their phones (or not bringing them at all!). Keep an old-fashioned sticker chart or come up with other positive implementation strategies, especially in the early stages.
Responding to Repeat Issues
All students are welcome, but not all behavior is welcome. Maybe you have norms already in place for repeat behavior issues as they come up. Or, use humor and make it silly with a dramatic laying on of hands, praying their brain won’t be colonized by the bots. You know your students and your culture. Be silly, but clear: everyone benefits when we are all unplugged and present.
Don’t Pretend You Don’t See It
If kids notice someone sneaking a device, they may sneak one the next week. That will wear you down! There will be times you are dealing with other behavior challenges, or you are tired and just don’t want to get into it. Stay strong! Today’s generation truly is amazing! They deserve a phone-free faith life, and we are the ones who can provide it for them.
We are all figuring out the new tech landscape together. So please share feedback, experiences, or ideas in the comments.
Frances Wattman Rosenau
Guest Contributor
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