Illustrated Ministry: Welcome to the Illustrated Ministry blog, Brian. Please begin by sharing with our readers what inspired you to write this book and a little about your journey that led you to this point.
Brian Recker: Hell Bent is the book I wish I had when I was processing my exodus from evangelicalism, and wondering if there could still be a Christian spirituality for me on the other side of deconstruction. Although hell is not the central issue everyone is wrestling with in deconstruction, it is not only used as a tactic of fear and control to keep us from questioning, but it is also a doctrine that warps every aspect of our faith.
When we attempt to deconstruct hell, we are often confronted with the fact that much of the Christian gospel we believed was about escaping hell. If there’s no hell, why did Jesus die? What did he save us from? Do we even need to be saved? I came to realize that hell and punishment were at the center of our spirituality, and if I was going to hold on to a Christian faith on the other side of hell, I would have to do some deep work in the foundations of my spirituality.
Leaving Evangelicalism and Pastoral Ministry
Illustrated Ministry: Brian, you were previously an evangelical pastor. Could you tell us more about that experience and what ultimately led you to leave?
Brian: I was a pastor for over eight years. I led a campus for a multisite nondenominational evangelical church in eastern North Carolina, and for many years, it felt like my dream job. I loved the church and benefited greatly from the community. They were my people. They were there when my babies were born. They helped me move more than once (there is nothing more jarring in post-deconstruction life than moving—we took so much for granted).
The first moment the rose-colored glasses started to crack was in 2015, with the rise of Donald Trump to frontrunner of the Republican Party, primarily fueled by the passionate support of evangelicals. I was shocked to discover how many of my own church members supported him—it was hard for me to grasp. I said to myself, “This is not who we are.” For a long time, I believed that, and worked for change from within the institution. By 2020, my prognosis had shifted. I had come to believe that Trump was not an aberration in the evangelical movement, but a natural culmination. With a broken heart, I realized that I could no longer lend my voice or leadership to that movement.
How Hell is Used as Fear and Control
Illustrated Ministry: In the book, you tackle the concept of hell. Will you unpack your previous thoughts of hell and how the evangelical church uses it as a tool for fear?
Brian: The traditional Christian position is called “eternal conscious torment.” This is not a nickname I came up with to make it sound bad—that’s actually what they call it. In the belief I was raised with, we taught that every person who is not a true Christian, not “saved,” or “born again,” will suffer torment in hell forever. Consciously.
We believed that everyone was born worthy of going to hell. By default, every person will go to hell to be punished by God. Based on this logic, most evangelicals believe that not just some people will go to hell, but that the majority of people will.
This belief was used to control us, because it made it impossible to question the system. If stepping outside the lines could lead to damnation, it wasn’t worth it. The stakes were too high. It also cut us off from our intuition. Believing ourselves to be damnable and wicked, we could not trust ourselves or our own moral discernment, so we had to give our trust to spiritual leaders who told us what to believe—and who was excluded.
The Spiritual Damage Caused by Fear-Based Theology
Illustrated Ministry: From a pastoral perspective, what kind of spiritual or emotional damage have you seen the fear of hell cause in people’s lives?
Brian: In the first part of my book, I discuss how what I call “the spirituality of hell” distorts our spiritual lives. It infects how we relate to God, to ourselves, and to other people, sowing disconnection instead of connection into each of these relationships.
Our relationship with God becomes coercive and toxic. If we do not choose a relationship with God, we are punished with the worst punishment imaginable, so it cannot be freely chosen. Our relationship to self is twisted by the self-loathing that comes from believing ourselves to be worthy of hell. Our humanity itself becomes a threat to our spirituality.
And hell trains us to see our neighbors as projects to be converted, not people to be loved. Hell robs us of the connection we were made for, because punishment destroys connection. “There is no fear in love, because fear has to do with punishment.”
Helping Children and Youth Imagine God Differently
Illustrated Ministry: Many of our readers work with children and youth. How will this book help guide the young in our churches?
Brian: Although I wrote this book for adults, I wrote it with my own children in mind. Although they will not grow up believing in hell, hell is pervasive in society and is often seen as inseparable from Christianity, and even from the very idea of God.
Many of us picture God as a big punishing guy—an authoritarian who must not be trifled with—who is warm and loving when you’re on his good side, but terrifying when you’re not. I don’t want my children to meet that god. I want them to meet the God revealed in Jesus, who heals instead of condemns, who stands with the vulnerable, and who reveals love—not punishment—as the heart of God.
Advice for Pastors Navigating Questions About Hell
Illustrated Ministry: What advice would you give pastors helping congregants who still believe in the existence of hell or are questioning hell?
Brian: I do think it’s helpful to walk through what the Bible actually says about hell and the possibility of universal reconciliation, which I do in my book in chapters 6 and 7, but to be honest, much more will be required. People don’t believe in hell because they’ve been given airtight biblical evidence. They believe in hell because they’ve received an entire spiritual paradigm that requires hell.
If they are saved, others have to be damned. If they are believers, there must be unbelievers, and it seems like there should be a punishment for that. We received a binary spirituality that requires the existence of an out-group in order to establish our safety as the in-group. These are very fundamental assumptions that are actually contrary to the gospel—not contrary to the white American gospel, perhaps, but certainly contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ, in whom there is no east or west.
Why Hell Bent Matters Even for Progressive Christians
Illustrated Ministry: For those who didn’t grow up immersed in fear-based theology but recognize how deeply that language shapes Christian culture—what will they gain from reading Hell Bent? In other words, how does your book speak to people who already agree with you theologically, but haven’t examined how pervasive these ideas are?
Brian: Even people who didn’t grow up with fear-based theology may have punishing views of God haunting the edges of their spirituality. These ideas are pervasive, and it can be powerful to confront them, regardless of your background. I have also heard from many people who found it refreshing to see a different view of Jesus presented.
In a time when a punitive, exclusionary form of white Christian nationalism is remaking our country and instilling fear in marginalized groups, it is important to loudly declare that they do not speak for Jesus. They are nothing like him. Jesus preached good news for the poor—if it doesn’t sound like good news to the most vulnerable people, to the forgotten ones, then it is not the good news of Jesus Christ.
Recommended Resources and Theologians
Illustrated Ministry: Aside from your book, what resources (blogs, books, videos, etc.) have been formative to you and your spiritual journey? Are there any you’d specifically recommend?
Brian: I encourage folks to look at the bibliography of my book, where I reference many beloved writers who have shed light on my spirituality post-deconstruction. Richard Rohr has certainly been influential, but beyond his wisdom, I have learned so much from Black and brown liberation theologians, especially womanist theologians.
James Cone’s The Cross and the Lynching Tree, Kelly Brown Douglas’s The Black Christ, and Dr. Angela Parker’s If God Still Breathes, Why Can’t I? have been very important to me, and would be a good place to start in exploring a tradition that speaks so prophetically to the white nationalist bastardization of Jesus Christ. As a straight white man, some of the most profound moments of healing and liberation I have experienced came because I listened to and centered voices that were excluded from privilege in the spaces I previously occupied.
Illustrated Ministry: Thanks so much, Brian! If people want to learn more about you and follow the work you’re doing, where are the best places for people to find you online?
Brian: I’m on Instagram at @berecker, and I write regularly on Substack at Beloved, with Brian Recker. Thanks so much for having me!
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